Inspiration

It comes from many places, and many things. For me, for near half a decade, it came from depression and love in turns. I've not had true inspiration for another half a decade after. I wonder if I'll every truly write again, or if the mere passing fancy of it will strike me randomly and flee again.

I started writing last night, though after a page it settled to me being tired. I hope that I can actually write it out, and get it going on a steady stream. After all, I'd hate to let Gerry down and have our collaboration fall apart before its even started.

I suppose I have to find my amusements where I can. I spoke to goreans tonight for the first time in months. Well, Goreans outside of Bobbi that is. It was an interesting conversation to say the least...An Academy based on the etiquette training of the Gorean slave. It could work if done properly.

I sometimes wonder what perverse pleasure I get in talking to some women, especially those whom I know wouldn't look twice at me in the way I want them too. Its interesting though when I do speak to them, and see the look in their eyes as they think, "no way in hell." and I know they see the look in my own which makes their mind whisper, "what if....?"

Who knows. I know that after looking at the erotica I wrote nine years ago, I seriously have to laugh and wonder at what I called "skill" back then. Samples and previews indeed. I now wonder how many people read my works, and thought, "gee, this guy doesn't know shit all." Or if they truly did inspire people to ask for more. I know I wrote my fair share of erotica, sold on commission to those whom requested their fantasies written.

Maybe I'll find inspiration again, some day. I don't know, honestly. But I look forward to it. To the future, and to this bloody migraine that has been jack hammering the inside of my skull since friday.

Peace.

The Zodiak, Out.