You know, I've been called man things in my life, among them has been a rules lawyer...I can admit it, and even (at times) relish in the fact that if someone needs to know the rules and system for a table top game I know, I can answer them with little hesitation.
I started roleplay on the internet when I was 12 years old in a chat room that had little to no rules, yet we got by, granted gods were born daily, and killed just as frequently, but moderate characters were created as well. It was a strange balance. As my roleplay life advanced, so did the rules, eventually setting out boundaries, rules, diagrams, systems, everything organized and set up with a basis of rules and regulations to make things fair. Not only did it make it fair, it made it-fun- 9 out of 10 times.
I've learned this system, that system, and many others, and whenever I get into a new gaming system, I like to learn newer and more updated rules so that I can enjoy it to its full potential. Now I can admit that on a table top system, such as White Wolf, and D&D, the rules are guidelines more then rules, they are set out as a basis, to be nudged, and tweaked and touched here and there to enhance the game.
However, where one can nudge and tweak, they can't rip out and remodel. It is those people who call me a rules lawyer, the ones that shred a campaign and take the fun out of it for me. I played D&D last night, it was supposed to be a level 1 campaign, people starting from scratch, new character, no level adjustment, straight up first level campaign.
Doesn't seem that complicated, does it? Roll up a character, and have fun. People did this, out of seven of us (DM included) five of use rolled up level one characters. Hell, five of us rolled up balanced, nonbroken characters that were designed purely for a fun level one game. One person stuck strictly to DM'ing in a system he wasn't/isn't entirely familiar with. The last person? The last person, the gods curse him, created a stone child. Before tonight, I didn't know WTF a StoneChild was. I found out during the night that it is a race from Races of Stone, a new book that came out in the past 4 months along with Races of the Dragon and a couple others. A Stone Child, I came to learn, is a level adjustment of +4. That makes him equivalent to a level 5 character.
So we have two level 1 rogues, one level 1 paladin, one level 1 cleric, and one Equivalent level 5 Monk. Seems a little unbalanced to me. It not only makes it unfair, it makes it unfun. Where is the fun when a character can literally rip apart any mobs it comes across with a single strike (of which he took two-three per round, depending on what he felt like). I can live with that, I mean fuck, it was for a friend whom hadn't gamed in awhile and really wanted to....Though I felt my teeth grinding together when he -dodged- eight attacks from orc barbarians. Not "dodged" as in 'oh hey look, they missed my AC'. No, dodged as in, "I'll sacrifice my next turn, dodge four attacks, and then tumble out of the room to make five actions." Gee, hm...rules.... guidelines.... rules... guidelines... rules.... Who the fuck follows rules anymore? I lost my love of the campaign we ran tonight because of that.
See, normally I wouldn't care, because sometimes I'll break a character too. Nothing is more broken then a first level human fighter who gets three feats weilding a great scimitar. Especially if you ECL him to fifth level where he now has six feats, and one ability point. However I didn't -want- to break the character. I wanted to enjoy a game. A game where it was an even playing field for everyone.
I won't play with that guy again though. I out right refuse. Of course, if him offering to Run a game interfers with my own game and the one Gerry is wanting to run, I'll end up being an utter asshole like i'm used to and hitting him with some bad off color comments about his grand mother's recent passing. Why? Because I'm a cold heartless asshole who doesn't like people who ruin a game for people, especially since one person was just learning the rules.
If it comes down to it, I'll run a campaign in D&D to show how it is supposed to be. I can at least do that, even if my campaigns are majority combat related. Something to think about. We'll see what I work out in my mind.
I hate stupid people, they should wear a sign saying "I'm stupid." - Bill Engvill
And god I agree to that.
Peace.
Zodiak, Out.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
A Day For Arguments
Alright, I'd like to start with: People are Incorrigible, ignorant, and annoying as fuck.
Now that I have that disclaimer in place. Today just seemed to be a day for debate, argument, and disagreements. I suppose we can start with the basic, the simple, and the less complicated.
300 was a great movie. It was Frank Miller's interpretation of a great battle, an amazing historical event which took place a long time ago.
I have seen it in theatres twice now, and both times it has impressed me and sent chills down my spine. I know a video game adaptation is in the future, something like "Frank Miller's 300" or something. It has potential.
Tonight, rather then seeing it a second time with my roommate/sister Kat, I saw it with my friend, her bf, and the BF's brother. Jennifer, Chris, and I are all fans of this kind of thing, Chris and I, aside from sharing the same name, also have a love for this kind of historics in common.
Now you must understand, we -know- the inaccuracies of Frank Miller's tale. After all, it was near 7,000 Greeks from various states. But it was only 300 spartans, of that there is no debate in the number. Men trained to fight and kill. The Persian army, by historic accounts, has number ranging from 75,000 to more then one million. You know though, I think even if you look at it from a generous view (in the point of Greece), you can say maybe 100,000? Perhaps a lil less, say 50,000 even. You are still looking at odds strongly in favor of the persian empire.
The Battle of Thermopylae ripped Xerxes forces apart, shredding near a third of his troops before a farmer within greece betrayed the Spartans and showed Persians the goat path in behind the mountains. They were killed down to a man.
Matt, Chris' brother, said the movie was only good until the last 20 minutes when everyone dies and it is the next marker battle against the Persians. His stance, was that it was bullshit and the spartans should have been over run quickly, cleanly, and with little fight. The troops were bottle necked for one. The Spartans were trained military men for two. His second argument was the arrows not piercing the shields. An average spartan shield was made of Bronze, it was 36" in diameter, backed in hardened leather, it strapped to the forearm and weighed in excess of 40 pounds. An arrow falling from the sky, was not something to pierce that kind of armoring.
Of course, Frank Miller neglects the bronze breastplates that Spartans were known for. As well as the Greaves. Some people just hurt my head, and yeah, the history lesson is shitty, but you know what? I wanted to get it out there cuz Matt was too fucking ignorant to listen to it.
Alright, second point of headache. Kathryn.
My dear sweet sister met a guy on saturday at the bar during the little work social. Which in my opinion is great. I'm glad she was able to meet someone. The downside, is that this someone she met, has a girlfriend.
Its unfortunate that she decided to show her interest anyways, and with superior looks and intellect to the girl he is currently seeing, she obviously will win out. But the infidelity is a sad thing. The only debate there was that she didn't understand what she was doing, and denied it even.
See, there is getting to know someone so that you can determine whether or not they are right for you, talk, chat it up, find out what you have in common and don't. They spent some time doing that on tuesday, to the point she had spent 6hrs over her shift time talking to him at work. Tonight however, crossed the line of fidelity to disloyalty and dishonesty. When they were sitting, legs locked with each other, hands upon the thigh of the other, caressing lightly as they spoke in their own private little world.
That kind of action, you either fess up to, or don't do. But that is my own personal view of it. I am the kind of person that will do something cruel, undesired, or worse, and not blink an eyelash when called on it, and then admit it proudly. If I did it I will cop to it. Otherwise I will tell you where to shove it.
Kat won't admit it, though I know, after more then two hours of debate about it, she finally understands what she is doing. Will she admit it? Who knows. I'm stuck in the middle of it though, granted I'll not be touching it further. I'm done with the situation, I'll not alienate her as my friend and little sister just because she is playing temptress and seductress...She'll realize it eventually.
C'est la vie. May life be lived.
Peace.
The Zodiak, out.
Now that I have that disclaimer in place. Today just seemed to be a day for debate, argument, and disagreements. I suppose we can start with the basic, the simple, and the less complicated.
300 was a great movie. It was Frank Miller's interpretation of a great battle, an amazing historical event which took place a long time ago.
I have seen it in theatres twice now, and both times it has impressed me and sent chills down my spine. I know a video game adaptation is in the future, something like "Frank Miller's 300" or something. It has potential.
Tonight, rather then seeing it a second time with my roommate/sister Kat, I saw it with my friend, her bf, and the BF's brother. Jennifer, Chris, and I are all fans of this kind of thing, Chris and I, aside from sharing the same name, also have a love for this kind of historics in common.
Now you must understand, we -know- the inaccuracies of Frank Miller's tale. After all, it was near 7,000 Greeks from various states. But it was only 300 spartans, of that there is no debate in the number. Men trained to fight and kill. The Persian army, by historic accounts, has number ranging from 75,000 to more then one million. You know though, I think even if you look at it from a generous view (in the point of Greece), you can say maybe 100,000? Perhaps a lil less, say 50,000 even. You are still looking at odds strongly in favor of the persian empire.
The Battle of Thermopylae ripped Xerxes forces apart, shredding near a third of his troops before a farmer within greece betrayed the Spartans and showed Persians the goat path in behind the mountains. They were killed down to a man.
Matt, Chris' brother, said the movie was only good until the last 20 minutes when everyone dies and it is the next marker battle against the Persians. His stance, was that it was bullshit and the spartans should have been over run quickly, cleanly, and with little fight. The troops were bottle necked for one. The Spartans were trained military men for two. His second argument was the arrows not piercing the shields. An average spartan shield was made of Bronze, it was 36" in diameter, backed in hardened leather, it strapped to the forearm and weighed in excess of 40 pounds. An arrow falling from the sky, was not something to pierce that kind of armoring.
Of course, Frank Miller neglects the bronze breastplates that Spartans were known for. As well as the Greaves. Some people just hurt my head, and yeah, the history lesson is shitty, but you know what? I wanted to get it out there cuz Matt was too fucking ignorant to listen to it.
Alright, second point of headache. Kathryn.
My dear sweet sister met a guy on saturday at the bar during the little work social. Which in my opinion is great. I'm glad she was able to meet someone. The downside, is that this someone she met, has a girlfriend.
Its unfortunate that she decided to show her interest anyways, and with superior looks and intellect to the girl he is currently seeing, she obviously will win out. But the infidelity is a sad thing. The only debate there was that she didn't understand what she was doing, and denied it even.
See, there is getting to know someone so that you can determine whether or not they are right for you, talk, chat it up, find out what you have in common and don't. They spent some time doing that on tuesday, to the point she had spent 6hrs over her shift time talking to him at work. Tonight however, crossed the line of fidelity to disloyalty and dishonesty. When they were sitting, legs locked with each other, hands upon the thigh of the other, caressing lightly as they spoke in their own private little world.
That kind of action, you either fess up to, or don't do. But that is my own personal view of it. I am the kind of person that will do something cruel, undesired, or worse, and not blink an eyelash when called on it, and then admit it proudly. If I did it I will cop to it. Otherwise I will tell you where to shove it.
Kat won't admit it, though I know, after more then two hours of debate about it, she finally understands what she is doing. Will she admit it? Who knows. I'm stuck in the middle of it though, granted I'll not be touching it further. I'm done with the situation, I'll not alienate her as my friend and little sister just because she is playing temptress and seductress...She'll realize it eventually.
C'est la vie. May life be lived.
Peace.
The Zodiak, out.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Humour in Misery
You know, I have to laugh. If I didn't laugh, I'd probably cry.
Its been some time since I've been in this. Not sure why, not sure if I even care. A lot has happened since my last entry. I've moved, I'm living with my friend Kathryn...She's a great girl, and I look at her sometimes and think, "You know, she's a beautiful girl, intelligent, witty, with a sense of humour well suited to my own. Why am I not going for her?" And then I'm reminded...Family. She is family to me, like a sister. I see so much in her like I saw in Erin before she went to drugs. Something I know Kat will never do, because she's deathly alergic.
Will I ever trust Kat the way I trust so few others? Probably not, likely not ever. Not because she isn't deserving of that trust, mind you, but because I've had my trust fucked over so much, it just doesn't seem like it would be right for me to actually put it in someone else.
I mean hell, I've already determined the effort it would take for me to actually love a woman is almost not worth the few months of happiness loving would give me before even that trust was fucked over.
I got an email from JT awhile ago...Not many people know who JT is. Jason is Krom. A man I met in Gor almost seven years ago. He took me under his wing back in those days, and was a Guardian to me. A Brother and friend. He taught me much of the lifestyle that I hold in my heart in this day. Between him and Kumadono/Barry, I learned much of what it is to be a Master and Dominant.
But anyways....I finally got around to responding to it a week or so ago. I am so rarely online, or on MSN, that I didn't get his reply until yesterday. He's doing good, which I'm glad to hear. He's moved and is with his grandparents. A little offset for a Man in his 30s engaged and a major player...But if it gets him away from the drugs and on a new start, then I'm happy for him and glad it is working out.
I can hope I can get into contact with him on a regular basis again. Seems nowadays I need advice and just a shoulder more and more. Though when I try and think of why, I can never formulate a reason.
Someone I have loved for a number of years, cared for more deeply then many, is getting married. It struck me like a locomotive to the gut. Yeah, Bobbi. That means you. Even as I think of it, and know that I probably will spend even less time online, or even block her to keep myself from dealing with it at all, I know that I shouldn't be selfish about it. After all, she deserves to be happy too, and Rob makes her happy.
I've not experienced happiness in so long. I've gone through the most fucked up development stages in my life. As a child, I was a loner, always struck by guilt trips from my parents, and gaining the ability to manipulate with it. It was in some of the purest forms...I was a kid, it was a game to me back then.
Now, when I say kid, you need to understand, I'm only 22 now. I am talking about when I was nine and ten years old. When I went to garage sales with money I got from conning my father into it. I remember going to a trunk sale once (it was a legion thing, people pack their trunk, meet in a parking lot, set up a stand, and its like a sad lil bazaar)...Anyways, I remember getting $5 from my father, and when someone called me lucky, I said, "nah, you just gotta know how to twist him around your little finger. My mom taught me how." Its pathetic.
But at the same time, it was the same age my father guilt tripped me when I had $2, and him saying he had no money at all, and we were out of bread. I was 10 years old and I was going to the fucking store to pick up a loaf of bread cuz he said we were low.
Probably why I learned to despise guilt trips, even though I know, unconsciously, I do them myself. I just never mean to.
As I grew older, around age 12 is when I got into the online world and gor. I learned to become strong fast. I suffered from clinical depression, so I had to be strong. My mother and I were alone in Nova Scotia, there was family, but it was hardly close...I learned to be strong, because online, many people are not strong, they need someone to lean on, to rely on. They didn't know I was a kid, nothing but a child. They told me their problems, and I matured quickly. I was a rock in the raging river of life, I never broke, shattered, or moved. I didn't attempt to kill myself, though the voices in my mind raged for it.
By fourteen, I had my first psychological break down. I remember it well, I couldn't function at all. It was the first, but it wasn't the last. I have suffered three in my lifetime. Though the last was at seventeen, and pretty much struck the end of my depression too. Over the years I've had a few people I leaned on. People whom I clung to as others did to me. Shannon, JT, Bobbi....To name three. To name the only three. Gerry is in there as well, though even with him I seem a little unknown if I can put my weight on him.
Shannon left my life two or three years ago now. JT has been intermittent, hardly someone I can rely on. And Bobbi....I'd say she betrayed me, but you know what? I betrayed her, and I know that and can accept it. So Gerry is all that is left to me. Yet as I've grown older, without the voices whispering insidious plans of death and self-destruction...I have less inside me that wants to be unleashed.
Worse perhaps, is the fact that I'm also useless for other people. No one relies on me, no one has relied on me for years. I've not relied on others either. I can't even think of the last time I've loved someone. My last relationship was two and a half years ago though. Dawn LaMotte...Cheating little cunt. But it was free rent and bad sex for three months. Why not?
Yet despite that, I can't help but think back to her the odd time. She was pregnant while we were together, with Mine. She said she had a miscarriage. Sometimes I think "what if?" Because you know what? If she ever tried to come after me for childsupport, after the blood tests, I'd sue her so fucking hard and fast for custody, her little mentally deranged head would spin, and I'd win custody. Bad enough she has a daughter that should be given to the system for care because of the mental traumas the poor kid is gonna suffer...I'd not trust her with my flesh and blood.
I'm going out tomorrow night, too. Not sure how that is going to work. Seems the more I work towards something, the more I fuck it up, and the less I want something, the more people push it on me. At the same time, I sometimes wonder about other things.
I can only do so much alone. And I am alone. I have nothing inside me left to bother with life anymore. Wake, work, home, sleep, rinse and repeat.
Its so sad I have to find it funny and laugh...if I didn't, then I'd cry, and if I started crying, I don't know if I could stop.
Peace out,
The laughing Zodiak.
Its been some time since I've been in this. Not sure why, not sure if I even care. A lot has happened since my last entry. I've moved, I'm living with my friend Kathryn...She's a great girl, and I look at her sometimes and think, "You know, she's a beautiful girl, intelligent, witty, with a sense of humour well suited to my own. Why am I not going for her?" And then I'm reminded...Family. She is family to me, like a sister. I see so much in her like I saw in Erin before she went to drugs. Something I know Kat will never do, because she's deathly alergic.
Will I ever trust Kat the way I trust so few others? Probably not, likely not ever. Not because she isn't deserving of that trust, mind you, but because I've had my trust fucked over so much, it just doesn't seem like it would be right for me to actually put it in someone else.
I mean hell, I've already determined the effort it would take for me to actually love a woman is almost not worth the few months of happiness loving would give me before even that trust was fucked over.
I got an email from JT awhile ago...Not many people know who JT is. Jason is Krom. A man I met in Gor almost seven years ago. He took me under his wing back in those days, and was a Guardian to me. A Brother and friend. He taught me much of the lifestyle that I hold in my heart in this day. Between him and Kumadono/Barry, I learned much of what it is to be a Master and Dominant.
But anyways....I finally got around to responding to it a week or so ago. I am so rarely online, or on MSN, that I didn't get his reply until yesterday. He's doing good, which I'm glad to hear. He's moved and is with his grandparents. A little offset for a Man in his 30s engaged and a major player...But if it gets him away from the drugs and on a new start, then I'm happy for him and glad it is working out.
I can hope I can get into contact with him on a regular basis again. Seems nowadays I need advice and just a shoulder more and more. Though when I try and think of why, I can never formulate a reason.
Someone I have loved for a number of years, cared for more deeply then many, is getting married. It struck me like a locomotive to the gut. Yeah, Bobbi. That means you. Even as I think of it, and know that I probably will spend even less time online, or even block her to keep myself from dealing with it at all, I know that I shouldn't be selfish about it. After all, she deserves to be happy too, and Rob makes her happy.
I've not experienced happiness in so long. I've gone through the most fucked up development stages in my life. As a child, I was a loner, always struck by guilt trips from my parents, and gaining the ability to manipulate with it. It was in some of the purest forms...I was a kid, it was a game to me back then.
Now, when I say kid, you need to understand, I'm only 22 now. I am talking about when I was nine and ten years old. When I went to garage sales with money I got from conning my father into it. I remember going to a trunk sale once (it was a legion thing, people pack their trunk, meet in a parking lot, set up a stand, and its like a sad lil bazaar)...Anyways, I remember getting $5 from my father, and when someone called me lucky, I said, "nah, you just gotta know how to twist him around your little finger. My mom taught me how." Its pathetic.
But at the same time, it was the same age my father guilt tripped me when I had $2, and him saying he had no money at all, and we were out of bread. I was 10 years old and I was going to the fucking store to pick up a loaf of bread cuz he said we were low.
Probably why I learned to despise guilt trips, even though I know, unconsciously, I do them myself. I just never mean to.
As I grew older, around age 12 is when I got into the online world and gor. I learned to become strong fast. I suffered from clinical depression, so I had to be strong. My mother and I were alone in Nova Scotia, there was family, but it was hardly close...I learned to be strong, because online, many people are not strong, they need someone to lean on, to rely on. They didn't know I was a kid, nothing but a child. They told me their problems, and I matured quickly. I was a rock in the raging river of life, I never broke, shattered, or moved. I didn't attempt to kill myself, though the voices in my mind raged for it.
By fourteen, I had my first psychological break down. I remember it well, I couldn't function at all. It was the first, but it wasn't the last. I have suffered three in my lifetime. Though the last was at seventeen, and pretty much struck the end of my depression too. Over the years I've had a few people I leaned on. People whom I clung to as others did to me. Shannon, JT, Bobbi....To name three. To name the only three. Gerry is in there as well, though even with him I seem a little unknown if I can put my weight on him.
Shannon left my life two or three years ago now. JT has been intermittent, hardly someone I can rely on. And Bobbi....I'd say she betrayed me, but you know what? I betrayed her, and I know that and can accept it. So Gerry is all that is left to me. Yet as I've grown older, without the voices whispering insidious plans of death and self-destruction...I have less inside me that wants to be unleashed.
Worse perhaps, is the fact that I'm also useless for other people. No one relies on me, no one has relied on me for years. I've not relied on others either. I can't even think of the last time I've loved someone. My last relationship was two and a half years ago though. Dawn LaMotte...Cheating little cunt. But it was free rent and bad sex for three months. Why not?
Yet despite that, I can't help but think back to her the odd time. She was pregnant while we were together, with Mine. She said she had a miscarriage. Sometimes I think "what if?" Because you know what? If she ever tried to come after me for childsupport, after the blood tests, I'd sue her so fucking hard and fast for custody, her little mentally deranged head would spin, and I'd win custody. Bad enough she has a daughter that should be given to the system for care because of the mental traumas the poor kid is gonna suffer...I'd not trust her with my flesh and blood.
I'm going out tomorrow night, too. Not sure how that is going to work. Seems the more I work towards something, the more I fuck it up, and the less I want something, the more people push it on me. At the same time, I sometimes wonder about other things.
I can only do so much alone. And I am alone. I have nothing inside me left to bother with life anymore. Wake, work, home, sleep, rinse and repeat.
Its so sad I have to find it funny and laugh...if I didn't, then I'd cry, and if I started crying, I don't know if I could stop.
Peace out,
The laughing Zodiak.
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