Bah Humbug

That time of year yet again. Alone yet again. No idea where I am going in life, yes...Again.

Seems the holidays, though a time cherished by friends and family, leaves one without either in the cold.

It is something I have come to respect, and understand as a call in life I will likely be answering for some time to come. I've been single, or alone, for christmas since before the death of my mother when I was sixteen.

What makes this any different? I suppose I'll not change, no matter how the years pass. I was actually supposed to celebrate it this year, had full intent to, even decorating the house for the season. Which did not go near as planned.

So instead, here I am, a bottle of whiskey in hand, korn playing as loud as possible, and wondering why thoughts of suicide won't leave me alone.

I imagine they will fade in time, I've never let them get to me yet, and the liquor numbs the feelings, such as they are. I drink for the reason any drunkard drinks...To forget. And With prayers to eternity, I will. Maybe I'll go to the store and pick up some eggnog. Or maybe I'll drink the rum straight.

I just felt the need to say it really. Those of you readers whom have family, loved ones, things you cherish, remember them. This is not a season of money and presents, it is a season of love, giving, caring, and remembrance of a child born to a whore mother that changed the world for the better.

To any religion, have a happy holiday, and hold your dear ones close, for they will be there always. Don't shun family, they're the only things you can't change. Don't abuse your friends...They are the ones who will have your back in a bind.

Hell, who knows what I'm saying anymore. Stay safe, world.

Zodiak, out.