A long time.

So its been pointed out by a few people that it has been awhile since I've written anything in here. Probably because for the past two months or so, I've just ceased to care. There's been no drive, emotion, or ambition inside me to write anything.

Its a culmutive of various things, I suppose. For one, finding out that a girl I thought I liked, I actually just liked as a friend. That kind of blew up in my face during my vacation for my birthday. So January. So my little "dedication" ended up being a false pretense. On a brighter note, she's engaged to be married now, so Congrats, Jes, and all the happiness to you.

I kind of let things slide, because with my birthday being my birthday, I got one friend who I hung out with, for dinner and a movie, and aside from that, no calls, no emails, no acknowledgement to my existence, just another day in my life. That may sound like a pity trip, but it really isn't. Its just depressing is all. So with that in mind, I didn't have much drive to write.

In February, I went from "not much drive" to a system overload shut down. A dear friend of mine died. Had an asthma attack in his own home and suffocated himself. It shattered my resolve for a lot of things, and made things even worse when my workplace pretty much told me to go fuck myself and my grieving process, that I would have to sacrifice my raise, or work through my best friend dying the day before.

Needless to say, I told them to go fuck themselves and sac'd the raise. so Chris Poole, rest in peace my dear friend, though this dedication and remembrence is a little late in my journal, we've already had our words and you know I love ya, man.

From there, things have been a haze. Day in, day out, moving forward, backward, left right....I really didn't/haven't noticed a lot of the days as they go by....it still feels like it is sometime in march...Even though I know I got wasted for 20 hours straight on st. patrick's day, and then did a repeat performance for 12hrs on the following weekend.

Aside from that, what really can I say? I've been playing WoW, gone on a few dates here and there, not finding anyone who lasts more then, "gee, that was a nice dinner. Thank you for the good night. See you later." and then I just don't call them. Which some may call me a scum bag for it, but its not like I'm having sex with them, then just avoiding them. Just one night, dinner, bowling, pool, coffee, walk, movie, whatever....Walk them home, and go my seperate way and ignore the phone when it rings with a text/call from them.

There's not exactly a lot more I can put in here. I'm still single, living on my own, up to date on my bills, a responsible adult at least in function, and unsure what I intend on doing as the time passes further by.

So there's your update, for those readers who bugged me for one, or issued concern there wasn't one in there.

Peace out,

The Zodiak.

PS.

Bobbi, it has been a long time. I'm not in gor, or roleplay, or the online world in any manner save my past. We were never more then acquaintances even in that, I can't say anything to you keeping up on me, its a public journal because I have nothing to hide, and I suppose I can unblock you. There's nothing there though, kajira. Just the past. Sorry.