So she's out with Andrew and his friends, because obviously 9 hours with a man she knows I can't stand because she fucked him, is simply not enough. So, thanks to this, I have a darkness creeping around my mind, and you, my readers, get to reap the benefits of my cold heart. Enjoy.
Coldness embodied in imagery cruel
looks undone and mind the fool
thought to love thought to hate
thoughts to lead me to my fate
heart of stone and heart of flesh
self destructive pain so fresh
thought I'd sink deeper still
my heart my soul slowly kill
slowly die, wither away
nothing left to me this day
unknown pain and known fright
nothing left for this fight
no understanding or way to try
by the gods why can't I die
blood flows freely to the ground
dripping, dropping, with no sound
pooling spreading like the mists
hands held limply, crying wrists
can't think straight nor in truth at all
thought I'd have father to fall
farther to come before I hit
farther to go with all this shit
-------------------------------
I look at myself superior and mighty
all below me and few stand facing me
I own what I wish and none stands strong
not before the might of a gorean man
Master and Man unique to this world
I rule within my sword arm and none approach
holding my council to myself
I hold the cold heart and thoughts unbound
my emotions my slave as much as my master
I bend knee to no being higher or lower
torrents within like the oceans of beowulf
surviving the storm that weathers my soul
madness creeps in at the edges of sanity
I hope one day to bath in their light
a yin yang twist of insanity and normality
nothing is right and everything wrong
nothing is here nor there anymore
I can't focus and can't see the truth
I can't see the lies that face me straight
can't decipher the knowledge I once had
working for what I was while being what I am
in time perhaps I'll be the better man
perhaps let slide slights and wounds
right now I'm unforgiving, never forget
as I was and shall be so forth
I can't stand the lies
the cruelty blindly let go
cut off its head and stand strong like so
I'm done with the pain and useless memory
love shouldn't be a blade digging into the gut
nor acid devouring the heart
there's no care, no love
not in these actions now
Embrace the darkness and coldness once more
become what I was, hello hell's door
Not my best, but I don't really care right now... It was looking worse before I tweaked it.
Night, I'm going to bed. Not dealing with this shit tonight.
The Zodiak.
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