A New Year... Not a new beginning

Another year past, and another year coming. I'll be a quarter century old in 2010. Not something I keep much track of, but there you have it.

I look back at this year, more journal posts this past twelve months than the two years before put together. That is something of an accomplishment. Not just writing now and then, but with some consistency. Some mind you, not a lot.

I look at my resolution from 2009... To continue with my initiative, to not be alone for the whole year, to push for something more in life. I suppose it wasn't much of a resolution. I still haven't gotten back into writing, though I do try, now and then, to see what I can pull out of the magician's hat.

I wasn't single for the year... Well, not all of it anyways. March to june, and then with Maggie... I'm not sure what I have with her, still, but there is something there, something that means something, anyways.

This year, this coming year... I don't know that I want to make a resolution. There is so much I want to do, need to do, that making a resolution just seems like setting a goal I may or may not make. So instead of a resolution, I will set a list of hopes. In the new year, I hope to go back to school while I still can... I hope to get the help I know I need, and fix this shattered mind so that it is presentable. I hope to get back into writing and take the initiative on one of the stories I have outlined. I hope to get my first tattoo done.

There... a list of hopes that if I don't make all of them, I won't feel a failure for it at the end of 2010.

Christmas this year was... Interesting. I had dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and father... And some random friends of my sister's.

It was actually nice. Julia and I got along rather well, and sat down and had a deep heart to heart discussion about stuff... The past, the present, the future. My lifestyle, my choices, my ailments. Where I'm going, where I was.

My only dilemma there, is finding reason to call her aside from catching up... I never like pointless calls. Is why I don't call friends more often. I never call people to just "shoot the shit"... I call when I can do something more than talk. When there is intention for plans.

Maybe I should change that too... It's not like I'm working right now. Though with my memory, I never remember to call the people I intend to call, until it's too late to call them.

I need to find an artist for my tattoo... The person I was asking, I don't think I want him drawing it anymore. For various reasons... But someone with such seeming malice within them, should not touch pen to paper for art for someone they don't like or respect.

Same goes for asking someone you don't like or respect to do something that intimate.

Ah well... Tonight... I'm not sure what tonight holds. I think I'm going to call Shaun and see what his plans are... For the occasion I may even be willing to walk to his place. Otherwise, the new year will likely be rung in with One Piece.

Cheers,

Chris.