Do or do not

There is no try.

Yeah, star wars philosophy for the win.

Seems to fit most situations, though. Go the whole way, or stay at the beginning, don't aim for the middle. Don't tell a half truth, don't just tease a story, don't merely offer a maybe.

Life has been the norm for me the past few weeks, nothing new or spectacular, just the same old, same old. Went to the movies with friends on friday as a birthday thing for Kait. Dinner at Marketplae, then saw Wrath of the Titans, which has cemented in my mind my utter disdain for Bill Nighy as an actor.

Aside from that, I've not received a call back from the neurologist for another appointment despite the fact they evidently have my cousin Samantha's information now to go on. I haven't had the opportunity to take in my cousin Phyllis' information as of yet. However it is on the to do list.

Diablo 3 is 45 days away, and I still haven't sampled it. Not even a spoofed beta. I've been hoping for an offline play crack, I mean hell, I have it downloaded to my computer right now, one would think someone would have cracked the hell out of it for single player stuff.

Albert Einstein once said that it is insanity to do the same task over and over again, and expect different results.

I've attempted friendship with R, with the normal light flirtation I have with all my female friends (and even one or two male friends), several times, expecting simple acceptance. I have been myself with her, with the same expectation, that it would be left alone. Most recently, I even made an attempt to be nice all the time, going so far as to say nothing if what I would have to say would be seen as cruel or unkind.

Nothing changes. She still bites my head off for imagined transgressions, she still keeps secrets to herself while teasing at what those secrets could mean. She still goes from flirtatious to cold in a matter of a day, and she still sends mixed signals worse than a military morse code communicator with tourettes.

Looking at my past, I can't count the amount of sweaters, jackets and shirts, that I've lost to ex girlfriends. That they've either taken from my place and worn home, or I left at their place, or they just grabbed, for the simple fact that it was mine, or, "it smelled like me".... I've never, in my entire life, had a simple friend do that. The two friends I have who borrowed my jacket for the walk home, returned the jacket within a few days and thanked me for the kindness.

Wanting to keep the scent of someone close, wanting to keep the presence of someone close, is an act of affection deeper than merely friendship. Anyone I've asked agrees with me on that. Except, there doesn't seem to be any affection whatsoever.

I'd think R has a twin, or a split personality, and they take turns out in the real world. One likes me a lot, one enjoys my company, while the other hates me from the bottom of her soul and wants nothing more than to rip me a new asshole at the drop of a hat.

That of course is improbable. In the mean time, she always asks me why I even put up with her... After this weekend, I wonder it myself.

Cheers,

Chris.

Edit: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the waffle iron mafia. <.<