Wow. Just Wow.

I really don't know how else to describe the way I'm feeling right now. It's phenomenal. It's great. It's... Wow.

I went out to coffee tonight for the first time in two months or so, for the second time in over a year and a half. Over a year and a half since I said, "I'll be back to coffee regularly once I move." A year and a half since I decided that coffee was too much bullshit with what Brigham was spreading about me and the rumour mills and BS and problems, and drama that I honestly just didn't want to deal with at all so just stopped going.

Only one thing steered my decision today to go to coffee, and that is the presence of a girl I've been flirting with on fetlife, a nice 19 year old with similar interests to myself, at least music-wise. I went, and though she seemed to be very popular with the single guys, it came to be... noticed... that I was the only Dominant man that was actually there to speak to. It seemed fairly lucky in my mind, though she did end up going off with two single men.

Not sure if I consider them competition for her affections or not, but of course, me being as direct as I am, intend to find out if they are by simply asking her. I'm not looking for anything, but if something happens, I prefer to know where the world stands.

However, back to going out tonight. My decision may have been based on the presence of a beautiful young woman with a really cool name, but it was made amazing due to the people there. I've never been filled with such a feeling of happiness, excitement, love, and joy at the sight of people in my life.

I got to see Bear again, and three hugs within a minute later, we finally broke apart, talked, how he had given me space, how he had waited for me patiently... I gave his wife Pixie a hug as well, she was also deeply missed, as I love them both as great and amazing people. As a surprise appearance, Neal even showed up, and I regre to say I burned his hand as I rushed him and swept him up in a hug and he spilled some of his coffee.

Sorry I burned him, not sorry I jumped him.

I got to see so many people that I've not seen in some time, people I missed at my last coffee outing, people that I didn't even know were still around, and I got to meet new people (one person even said I seemed "awesome" which made my night, really, and she's a new friend on fet as well. I met people I've heard about, but not met, and I got to see the new "young" crowd that has been sending the older cliques to the shadows.

I have to admit, that a lot of the young people are almost too young for me... 18-20 years old, provocative, and less discrete than those of us who have been in the lifestyle longer. It reminds me of how incestuous our community can be, and they seem to represent it. They are not at all subtle in their flirtations, and bites and licks and kisses were exchanged openly between several people, either as greetings, play, or good byes.

Of course, given that I was there near solely to see a 19 year old, I'm hardly one to speak of talking down the younger generation, however that is how life seems to work, is it not? I've added four new people to my friend's list, as well as learned new things of others who are friends in the lifestyle, such as the news that Bear and Pixie are hoping to move into Barrie.

The last time I played with Bear, he damn near pulled the ceiling down in my basement. The man is massive in a way that defies definition, he also was a superb canvas to play with, and I eagerly await the opportunity I can play with him again, at his own home perhaps, when he is within a closer range to me.

My medication is working. Even now, after the night, after the poi by the beach, after the people are gone, after the good byes, as I sit alone in my room, after I've sent off half a dozen messages to people, I'm STILL not coming done. I'm not breathing in and thinking, "what did I fuck up tonight?" Not at all. In fact, I know I DIDN'T fuck anything up tonight, and that if, somehow, someway, she decides that she has no interest in me, it will be HER fault, and her loss.

I'm feeling FANTASTIC and I don't know if it is all the positive energy that was around me tonight, or if it is the drugs working in my system. Whatever wants to take credit, feel free. But this day started out good with a shower and a shave, then some comedy shows, and ending off with dinner with Camille, coffee with a great group of people, and fire spinning at the water front. I can't be happier with how it all went.

Maybe I'll update later with the shit storm that's been going on in my life. But tonight? Tonight I can't be anything but happy.

Cheers,

Chris.