Happines Abounds

You know, the more things in my life change, the more I wonder precisely where I am going with things.

I've not been this happy, this "right" feeling in so many years its not even funny.

My last real relationship was more then two and a half years ago, and that was barely even a relationship, more of a mistake to get out of my father's house for a little while.

Now though, with Mecca, there is a connection that, though I know it is there, I just can't let myself rush or push. She is an amazing girl, and it isn't even what we have in common that brings me to this conclusion, but how we get along, and act. There is so much there, our humour is near identical, our attitudes, our thought process.

Its a perfect match stroke for stroke. I mean, it may be a fling, but I can honestly, even after a mere week, see myself spending a lot of time with her, a lot of my future with her. Its not even sex driven, I mean, don't get me wrong, the sex is great, but it is not the only reason we are together. Just holding her in my arms keeps me content, talking to her, seeing her smile, laughing with her, all of it is so amazing.

I know how I sound too, and it is not "whipped" because I don't come to her calling, and I won't call it love, because though I get a smile on my face to think of her, and miss her not even 12 hours after she is gone, I don't feel a chill race through my body to think of her, my head doesn't feel like its full of air when I mention her name.

There is emotion there, and I truly believe that, with time, it can bloom into love, and perhaps something lasting. We click on so many levels it is amazing. I've never moved this quickly with a girl in my life, the closest to it would be Dawn, and I knew her for 18 mths before our 1mth fling and me moving with her to the states, which was entirely impulsive. With Mecca, its not impulsive at all, it just feels right.

One of my earlier posts mentions a muse. I believe Mecca is my muse. With thoughts of her, I truly believe I can write, and write well.

Like a light burning in the darkness
so my heart was fading into night
with a light touch and renewed flame
you gave me a new found reason to fight
to bring the lies and deceit to a final end
I felt your hand upon my heart
looking deep into your eyes
I could feel that I was a greater part
Something to life as I am to death
something there and I know will not rest
I can't help but look into your soul and know
that this is no longer a test
something real in a world of illusion
an image that burns into my own mind
a perfection that I just can't measure
a feeling that is one of a kind
I know there is more to this
though I can't write it all down
when I see you upon your knees before me
I feel what I've sought I've found
I know I'll never forget you
a memory and hope cherished always
I pray I will never lose you
and keep you close for all of my days

Original By:

Christopher Alexander MacLeod

I can write again, and I know I feel the creativity inside my mind flowing. It is hard to say it all at once, and I know that it tends to pile up. I may still be a light sleeper, but I don't mind little rest, if it is with her in my arms. Already I've fallen into the pattern of a man who has adapted to sleeping with someone. I woke up after a short nap today, sprawled from corner to corner, wanting to take up the space she leaves abandoned in her absence. I merely hope I can see her again on the weekend, even if it is for only a day or so. I miss her already, as bad as that may seem to some.

No matter what though, I see her in my mind, in my dreams, in my heart.

Happiness. Everyone has a chance at it, I'm finally starting to see that.

Remember, no matter how dark things may seem, the sun has to rise some time. Even the arctive has daylight, just takes awhile.

With new found hope,

Zodiak, Out. Peace.